framed bugs, and yes, a pet tarantula named Rosie. She adored it. Celia, of course, had something to say: “You spend your money on junk.” So I had an idea. I ordered a second tarantula, complete with habitat, food, and a note: Since you always want what Jane gets—enjoy! Love, Andrew.” The result?

Seventeen missed calls. Screaming voicemails. Full cartoon-style meltdown. She screamed, dropped the box (don’t worry, the spider was safely enclosed), and made Jane’s brother come “banish” it. Jane wasn’t mad—in fact, she laughed so hard she cried. Best part? Celia hasn’t complained about unequal gifts since. Moral of the story? If you’re going to demand equal treatment, be ready to get exactly what you asked for.